Obviously I'm talking about parenting. You hear that phrase all the time, and until you become a parent, you don't know how true that statement is. You go from years of worrying about yourself to suddenly having another life to worry about. We do our best to care for our children. We try to feed them the healthiest food, when most of the time we are relegated back to chicken nuggets for the fifth night in a row just to get them to eat something. We set schedules for them in hopes that they will become predictable and better sleepers, only to miss a nap on a Saturday and spend the rest of the day battling an over tired, cranky toddler. We do what we know how to do, with what we know. Then why do we spend so much time putting each other down?
Since Neisan has been on this Earth, I have had to make decisions for him, just like every other parent has to do. Of course I was going to nurse him, that is the best thing I could do for him in his brand new little life. At 6 weeks old when I found out he had severe reflux and a milk allergy, my milk supply plummeted when I cut out dairy. So on to a special formula we went - with a ton of guilt and sadness. When I learned he slept best on my chest, all night long, every single night, I held him. When I realized that letting him watch Sesame Street - GHASP - for a few minutes let me get his bottles that I was never going to use washed, I let him watch. These were all things that I would have "judged" a mom for before having him. Am I a bad mom for these things? Absolutely not. I simply make adjustments in our lives where they are needed to meet our families individual needs.
I read an article recently by Mayim Bialik, the actress who played Blossom in the sitcom. She talks about attachment parenting. Her husband, two young kids and herself share two futons pushed together on the floor to sleep. She nurses her 2 1/2 year old on demand, including every 2 hours all night. Her kids have never watched television in their home. She does all of these things because it's what she believes makes a happy family. While some may think her parenting style is weird, I think she is an amazing woman and mom. Now I'm not one to nurse a toddler with a full set of teeth or ban t.v. from our house, but I do commend her for doing what she feels is best for her individual family. And being open and honest about it when she is not the norm.
I see moms (and dads) put down all the time for the choices they make for their own children. Neisan sleeps in our bed, right in the middle of Geno and I. While this was never our "plan", I have to say that waking up next to him is the best part of my entire day. The moments we share in the early hours of the morning are moments I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. And the moments I spend watching him drift off to dream land are so precious to me. Do I get the best sleep at night with him in our bed? Probably not. But he won't want to sleep with us forever. Have you ever seen a teenager still sleeping with their parents? Wearing a diaper? Using a pacifier? Drinking a bottle or nursing? I didn't think so.
I hope this little post makes everyone think about the choices you make and the judgements you pass. Nobody is perfect. At the end of the day, we are trying to get by and hoping to God that we are doing the right thing for the little people who call us "Mom". Good luck out there - it can get a little rough.
